months later

So, being the eternal optimist I am, I tend to go around seeing life through sex-tinted glasses.

It's like being a feminist, except... well. So I'll admit it's nothing like being a feminist, that was a train-wreck of an analogy just trying to get me on its tracks.

It is a point of view that most reasonable people would describe as a delusion, at best. No matter how horny I may sometimes feel, that doesn't mean everyone else is constantly motivated by lust. Really! That's just not how the world works. For some people it really is all about a career, gardening or that ideal cup of tea.

But in spite of being vaguely aware of this theoretical, so-called reality, I still tend to see a glance as a check-out, a smile as a flirt, turned down eyes as wishful bashfulness... And so on. In my world, they all just want to be wanted, held down, climbed, worshiped, humiliated, sweet-talked, licked, sucked, used, spanked. Whatever. Sexed.

Seeing the world through sex-tinted glasses is good fun, if nothing else.

But it's unsettling when things suddenly click.

It's unsettling when your friend tells you that while you were fetching the beers, the girl you were innocently chatting with hastily explained she was in an open relationship and requested stats on your availability. Because that's how I imagine the world, not how I expect it to be.

It's unsettling when that same evening, you find out that that couple you would quite like to be friends with, in a completely innocent, fun, get drunk and dance kind of way... are totally poly and the guy asks you for hints on how to seduce teh ladies. His wife puts her hand on your chest.

wtf?

Them damn sex-tinted glasses are glued to my face and I can't get them off.

...

Opportunities.

There, and there, and there, and there, and... I have a girlfriend I love and she's not cool with me being Mr. Sex Pervert anywhere but in bed with her. So I act like I don't see them, they just voom on by as I smile, take a quiet ego boost and pretend not to notice.

I think about age and wonder if some day soon, will I be a wrinkly old man who regrets not having just seized them all while he could? I've seized the one. A damn fine one to be sure, an excellent choice. But will I regret the others?

Or, worse, will I end up giving in and cheating, hurting my girl? Probably not. Will I end up pressuring her into something she just isn't interested in or cut out for? Maybe. Will she read this and worry? Quite possibly.

But I really can't lie to her or hide things from her. That's just not how I do things.

Is it always going to be a struggle to (not) be a poly slut?